My Heart Caved In♥

I'm suppose to do tease me tuesdays today, but today has just been a down day for my
my granmother passed today

I don't know what to do with myself honestly
I was just speaking to my cousin on thursday about her and she told me how sick she was
then I called my best friend and told "I think my grandma is going to die", but I never thought it would've been 5 days later
I had gotten a call from someone back home. I didn't know who it was. Something told me to answer, but I just rolled over and went back to sleep :(
woke up 5 minutes later to get up to go out with my best friend, went downstairs and my dad told me
I just collapsed. I couldn't breathe. My chest felt so heavy. I couldn't see. I couldn't think. I couldn't do anything
I haven't seen her in 8 years, but she's always been in my heart and mind.
My cousin told me she gave her a kiss for me the day we talked and she just smiled
I just wish I could've said good bye. Even though she wasn't talking, I wish I could've told her how much I loved her and missed her before she went. I hope she was proud of me.
I've never really seen my dad cry til today. I cried with him too!
my best friend took me out to help me clear my head and not think about it so much
It helped, but then I got back home and can't stop crying again.
I close my eyes, but their still flowing out.
I love you Ama. Always and forever♥